This rant was influenced by: http://forum.colour-dreams.net/viewthread.php?tid=32&page=1#pid1186

I'm angry, so I'm going to post a little rant. Except it's more of a positive thing than a rant.

I have had many dreams.. I used to want to be a famous singer.. One of my big dreams, still, is to be a fashion designer with my own store or line..

But now I'm in graphic design and I'm going to learn programming.

And I've had this sort of dream about having my own network of web help things.. that would just keep expanding.. (You know bravenet? We'd have those things except better.)

I even wanted to do this script/program/site for zines to use instead of AOL, cuz AOL sucks for zines. I'm not in zines anymore, but if I ever made that network into a big money maker, I'd still do that.

And I found someone to go into this with, actually, he's the opposite of me, programming without web/graphic design.

But ... he is SO busy and NEVER can talk to me... Plus he HATES Kerry so will vote for Bush! Bah!

Anyway.

I'm just saying, I'd like to make money.

It's really hard to make money, my google ads don't make enough to pay me more than yearly.

I'd be really interested in just getting my hosting bill paid.

I'm thinking about if I should really have that members section at all.. maybe like.. a dreamhost donation.. I just went with Pay Pal subscription cuz, well, it's a subscription. But I don't know how to pay dreamhost with that. I can get a check, but it costs a dollar. gr.

But I could get more hits with my member goodies, perhaps.. but that's dangerous.. but perhaps with TASTEFUL ads that WORK.. these google ads aren't so good. everyone could be happy?

My first concern was that people would steal.. Iiiiiiiiiiiiii dunno. I want credit.

But honestly, I like making money from things I do, it makes me feel good. I can't get a job because I'm on SSI for my bipolar and I'll lose my insurance.. besides, I want money for my art. (I want a lot of things.. like being accepted to a good school, etc.) Anyway if I take 4 classes I can get insurance from my father back.. But I don't know when I'll be taking 4.. that's a lot.. It's all so scary. Classes are SO manageable up until finals are nearing.

Anyway.. I'm a confused individual.

My first point in me saying this is, I can make money too.. someday. Argh.. I'm just easily upset and jealous. Plus I'm in a very confusing time in my life. Going through a lot of things.

What should I do about my members section?